I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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