Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
