i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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