So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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