Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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