that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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