so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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