So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
