you win again, gameday.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
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I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
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if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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