my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize