we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Who died my cat blue again?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
