I love black thongs
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club