If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.