I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".