Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
