lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
