I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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