Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
