I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
