If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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