trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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