Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
