During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
