Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
