Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
