So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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