In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
