We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
