btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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