Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
