is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize