So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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