just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
