Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
