Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
