yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
