Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
