I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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