I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
