I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
