Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
