Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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