I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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