I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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