I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
