I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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