Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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