Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I CAN MOONWALK!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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