You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
