I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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