My first STD was from a foam party
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
