I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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