thus making me awesome and them whores
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
COCAINE IS GR8
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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