Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
