My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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