Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
