I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
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He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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