is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
