Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I look better un-naked...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize