Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize