Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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