$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
