of course. lets lasso hookers.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
