Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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